〜に忍びない (~ni shinobinai) — can't bear to ~ (out of pity or attachment)
When doing something would hurt your heart too much — throwing away, watching, saying no.
Formula (सूत्र ढाँचा)
Grammar rule (व्याकरण नियम र परिभाषा)
When to use it
You're moving rooms in Japan. There's an old sweater your mother sent from Nepal; you no longer wear it, but when you try to throw it out your hand stops — thinking of her love hurts. That feeling is 「捨てるに忍びない」.
Meaning
「忍ぶ」= to endure, so 「忍びない」= 'can't endure it' — doing that thing would hurt your heart so much that you can't bring yourself to do it.
How to attach
- Attach the dictionary form of a verb + 「に忍びない」; it mostly goes with a few verbs like 見る・聞く・捨てる・処分する・断る, and can also sit before a noun, as in 「見るに忍びない姿」.
- In writing it links clauses as 「〜に忍びず」(捨てるに忍びず…).
Versus what you know
- The 「見るに堪えない」you learned earlier also sounds like 'can't watch', but that is because the thing itself is bad, dirty or low quality (disgust, criticism)
- 「見るに忍びない」comes from pity or love — your heart burns at a crying child, a ruined village, a sick animal.
Watch out
The key rule: there is always pity, love or sympathy inside it; it doesn't fit 'not wanting to do something' out of laziness or hassle.
Examples (उदाहरणहरू)
母が大切にしていた着物は、どうしても捨てるに忍びない。
ははがたいせつにしていたきものは、どうしてもすてるにしのびない。
I just can't bring myself to throw away the kimono my mother treasured.
How it is built (कसरी बन्यो) 母が大切にしていた着物 = the kimono my mother treasured → 捨てる = to throw away (dictionary form) → we attach 「に忍びない」 = remembering Mom's love, I can't bring myself to throw it away.
地震の後のふるさとの町は、見るに忍びない姿だった。
じしんのあとのふるさとのまちは、みるにしのびないすがただった。
After the earthquake, my hometown was a sight too painful to look at.
How it is built (कसरी बन्यो) 地震の後のふるさと = my hometown after the earthquake → 見る = to look → 「に忍びない」= out of pity, you can't bear to look → the noun 「姿」 comes after: 見るに忍びない姿 = a heartbreaking sight.
困っている後輩に何度も頼まれ、断るに忍びなかった。
こまっているこうはいになんどもたのまれ、ことわるにしのびなかった。
A junior colleague who was in trouble asked me again and again, and I couldn't bear to say no.
How it is built (कसरी बन्यो) 困っている後輩 = a junior colleague in trouble → 何度も頼まれ = was asked again and again → 断る = to say no → 「に忍びなかった」 (past) = out of pity, I couldn't say no.
Knowledge check (मिनी ज्ञान जाँच)
「祖父が使っていた古い時計は、処分する＿忍びない。」— fill the blank.
💡 Hint: Which particle follows the dictionary form?
Dictionary form + に忍びない. 処分するに忍びない = I can't bear to get rid of it (it reminds me of Grandpa).
In which sentence is 「に忍びない」unnatural?
💡 Hint: Pity and love, or just laziness?
に忍びない always has pity or love inside. Not wanting to do lots of homework is laziness — say 「やりたくない」there.
To say 'a show full of insults, so low it's unwatchable', which is right?
💡 Hint: Out of pity, or out of disgust?
見るに堪えない = unwatchable because it's bad or low. 見るに忍びない is for things that make you feel pity (a crying child); てはばからない and てやまない don't make sense here.
Your score: /3